14 th. November.

14 November
Have had a brilliant sleep! 18 hrs.
Stopped me from snacking, saved money on fuel, given my eyes chance to clean themselves and kept me off the baccy.
Only smoked 14 rollies yesterday.
If I can stay in till Thursday will have saved a bit of money.
Didn’t get drunk yesterday it was just that there was about two inches left in bottle and by the time I drank that I was in limbo,
In between not having enough and having enough to help sleep so bought another bottle and drank the neck out of it.
I now have enough left to last me till Thursday, by which time I should be sick of it.
I notice the grammar check is automatically inserting capitals into correct place; very helpful.

When I first woke up I was thinking if this diary is a way of me keeping hold of my sanity,
Or perhaps trying to give me a purpose in everyday life; for whatever reason, my typing is improving.
Very few mistakes and I’ve reached an acceptable speed.
The weather, as expected is sunny but cloudy;
Bad weather is expected to come over during the course of the day and the forecast for the rest of the week will be disappointing.
I care not, there’s nowhere I have to be till Thursday.
I forgot to open the windows when I went to bed last night and as a result the room smells of stale smoke,
I take the chance to open them wide and fresh air fills the room.
I empty the ashtray to remove the smell and give me a chance to be able to count how many I’ll smoke today.
The electric is working out at over £1 per day; knowing that I can budget better.
The fresh air is cool but not too cold, grey clouds now come over and the room darkens. Another 10 minutes and I’ll have to close the windows in case I catch a chill.
Meditation sounds are playing and I feel relaxed and surprisingly good.
My mood is fair to good. Normal?
Hell would I recognise normal?
I do not dwell too much on describing my feelings, having had the benchmarks change and fade so often.
Every day may be the same old routine but frame of mind changes daily,
I’ve felt better since Sunday, probably due to having had decent meals.
I have two more decent meals planned for today and tomorrow and then I propose to eat salads and fruit for a few days.
Give my body a clean out.
18 hrs. Solid sleep! Can’t do any harm, can it?
If my calorie intake is less than required then slowly I must lose a little weight eventually.
I used to starve myself and try to lose weight by doing without but that went by the board when I started the medication and put on all the weight I’d lost,
I still would like to return to a lower weight and hope by the end of winter to attain same.
Post woman approaches; bet she’s frozen!
That’s one job, which must be a drag as winter approaches.
I expect she’ll walk past my place.
I don’t expect any post till tomorrow when the weekly payment arrives.
Part of my money arrives by post and part is sent into an account; because I never see the latter I choose to let it mount up and take it out when it has reached a useable amount,
Often it’s a pleasant surprise how much it becomes when forgotten about.
The other portion of my money is paid direct into a bank account and as such is available to me whenever I want it; I freely spend it knowing there is always some left over each month to mount up.
In the past most of my money went to repay loans
I.e. car loan and house improvement loan,
These together spanned seven years.
I now have to chance to put some money away and increase my cushion of comfort.
I know not for what I save yet enjoy the act knowing whatever comes up I’ll be able to afford it,
Within reason.
I know how much my money breaks down to and as long as I keep the daily figure to a reasonable amount the savings will increase, thus days spent asleep or staying in will save me more.
The more I save the more I am loath to spend,
I’m turning into a right little miser.
I’d have loved to taken part in an overseas volunteer action but the expense is out of my league;
I know my bank would give me a loan but as said earlier I no longer want to be in debt for years just to pay for something, which will only last for a few weeks.
The local dealer called yesterday to borrow some cooking foil,
I didn’t ask why but thoughts of the dragon crossed my mind as I gave him the foil in which I had a chunk of last year’s Christmas cake.
When I first moved in he was one of two neighbours who greeted me but their lifestyles were not what I wanted,
Would have been all too easy to become part of their circle but after witnessing the dragon I steered clear,
It’s hard enough to control the nicotine addiction without tampering with stronger drugs, which are equally hard to give up once hooked.
I’ve come across class A in the past and have always promised myself I’d never dabble.
Acquaintances tell me of their exploits while taking cocaine or heroin; most do wish they had never started.
In the earlier days I convinced myself I could never inject myself with anything,

I later got over my fear of needles when I began to pierce myself,
I now stop myself because I have no wish to become an addict to chemicals.
He informed me yesterday there was some dope around but I calmly said I wasn’t interested.
I’d already made the choice to have a drink and didn’t want to mix.
Judging a double whisky to be the equal to a pint I stick to my limit of four pints, sometimes perhaps I have one more but I haven’t as yet felt too much of an effect from my drinking and haven’t had a hangover for a long time.
Am I wasting my life?
Probably,
Or am I simply waiting for a chance to find something satisfying to fill the time?
Money or more precisely lack of it has restricted nearly every project I wanted to begin so this time I’m saving money so I will have sufficient to follow any future ideas, be it to buy new peripherals or to adopt a different lifestyle.
I remember years ago I would always go out smartly dressed but nowadays with the trend to dress down it’s a waste of money spending on clothes when I can kit myself out cheaply from the local charity shop.
I look at the sky and it resembles the dawning of a snowstorm, I’m reminded that that possibility will increase over the next few months.
I like to see snow on the ground and if it does happen I’ll take some winter photos.
It’s getting almost too dark to see the keys,
The clouds have joined together and are as a blanket.
Time for a cuppa.
Windows closed, fire on low, lamp on.
Looks like the rest of the day will be dark and dismal;
I ‘m glad at least I got up in time to see the little sunlight, which the day had to offer.
I’m having some trouble with the receiver again but moving it has solved the problem.
Toothache reminds me I must go and see dentist, soon.
I take time out to think of what lifestyle changes may happen next year,
I will pursue the option of voluntary work in the local community; I’d like to work with?
No use thinking until I get options.
I’m reminded of my idea for p.c. music.

Your Customer Number is 335481Your Order Number is 1399637
The above are order details for some cds offered.
Hope its not another rip off!
Testimonials from customers seem to rate it as being genuine; will see.
Downloaded free 3d animation pack, but if cds come in post there should be a better one than what’s offered on freeware.
I pour myself a whisky orange and lemon.
Spell check seems to be having a day off today!

Numbers of drug users were estimated based on 1996 British Crime Survey data; 1,734,000 regular cannabis users (used in last month), and 1,387,000 occasional (used in last year), totalling 3,121,000 users in that year
This gave a UK total spent on cannabis of £1,179 million/yr.

I feel in the mood for a smoke but am resisting.
Spent a coupe of hours on net, nothing to inspire.
Went to bed on afternoon, got up at 8.30, sat up till 2 a.m.