16 th.November.

16 November
Had a good 12 hrs. sleep.
Today is windy; the strength of the wind increased last night and in the early hours was very strong.
It’s a cold dismal day and I have no intention of venturing out even though its payday.

Really enjoyed the sleep, dropped off feeling relaxed and clean, possibly the couple of cans of lager helped but must have been ready for it.
There are things I could do today, washing up, tidying, perhaps some laundry but I don’t envisage anything getting done.

As you will see from yesterday’s entries I was researching hypnosis.
I once tried hypnosis as a means of giving up smoking but it failed miserably I have been researching self hypnosis and am willing to spend some time on it.

I scrape off some of the remnants of last night’s supper off my dressing gown in an effort to postpone wash day.
My chest was bad last night, took nearly half an hour or so for the wheezing to subside,
but after it settled down I must have drifted off without too much effort,
I resorted to self-hypnotic relaxation to help the process.
I will now have to work out some suggestions to add to the mix.

My hair once again feels clean which always makes me feel better.
Baccy is dwindling but there’s more than enough for today so I have no reason whatsoever to go out into the cold.
For some reason the spell check is feeling lazy.
I’ve put the fire on but may as well lit a bloody candle for all the difference it is making,
Will take a while to remove the chill off the room.
Dark enough to warrant the light being on;
Hate typing in lamplight.

Server is busy so mail is unavailable; no great loss, its usually junk mail.
Had a quick run through the newspapers, nothing too dramatic.
Sat here, finger ends cold, am seriously thinking of returning to warmth of bed but will struggle on.
I alter the heater control and the fire is slowly making an impact,
Lottery ticket checked, didn’t manage to match one number!
At one time I refused to enter the lottery madness because of the way the money was used, but now I find myself spending two pounds per week, nearest I’ve come was last week when I had three correct numbers.
Still one lives in hope.
Thursday has come around again and the weekend is just around the corner, the majority of the workforce will be looking forward to filling the pubs to relax in the company of similar minded souls.
Perhaps I’m wrong, people may stay in watching DVD’s and drinking supermarket wine and beer;
I have no intention of investigating.

My mood today? I would happily share a joint or two.

In myself I feel fine, bath last night relieved a bit of the back pain and after several attempts I got my neck into a comfortable position before drifting off to sleep.

I receive a phone call from my I.S.P. provider and I cut him short by saying I have no interest in expanding my package.
Break for coffee.
Typing goes haywire for a couple of minutes and I have to reset spacing, but succeeded in getting it back to normal, still haven’t figured out what actions trigger these outbursts but at least I know how to stop it.

Fire turned down to economic level, I really am going to try to save on gas and electric this winter;
Last year I had all the radiators on low settings this time only the one radiator is actually on and I’m using the fire for the most part.
Since the refurbishment the flat should be economical to keep warm; obviously no comparison between this place and the last house which used to cost many more times to keep warm.
I wonder how I ever kept the old place going but somehow I did, but that’s well in the past now.
I often have flashbacks to living in the house, remembering what I had and what I could do in there;
I’m more relaxed now and have come to accept the low level of sounds enjoyment and the compactness of the flat.
Everything I want and no space for extras therefore no space for junk.

I make a mental stride to escape memories.

I look at the treetop being blown in the wind and am glad I’m sat here and not outside.
Its been a week now since I went shopping and the softer fruit in the bowl is asking to be eaten so I will obey.

My pain level today is remarkable low, probably due to good sleep and correct position in bed.
I remember wrapping the king size quilt around myself like some thick sleeping bag, warm, clean and relaxed I slept like a baby nothing on my mind to trouble me, no problems to sort out, just relaxed.
Spell check doesn’t seem to be working at all today but there are very few mistakes to alter so I’m doing fine.

The starlings are gathering early today, the grassed area outside will soon be black with their numbers. Some of the neighbours throw bread onto the grass and this attracts them before they gather to roost,
I liked to sit in the club and watch the ever-increasing flocks circle around before going to ground for the night.
The cloud cover has broken up a little and the remaining clouds are highlighted by the waning sunlight.
Mail is still not playing ball, I did get a brief glimpse of thirteen waiting for attention, will have to wait till tomorrow, sever busy.
First time I’ve wanted to go through mail and server is down.

My thoughts turn to food and I skip through a few menu options in my mind.
I decide to wait till later.
The sun makes a brief appearance but is well past the scope of my window to be useful; the voiles are highlighted in its glow.
03:30 PM another afternoon almost finished, time for a lager.
Enjoy coldness of beer, unfortunate have a slight headache,

I blame gas fire, have never really liked gas fires following incident when myself and a partner were gassed while sleeping in a flat in Saltburn, we had a lucky escape,
I had just enough strength to kick the door open and the fresh air revived us.
The flame had gone out on the fire and we were on the floor in front of it sleeping off the nights intoxication, I remember we both had hellish hangovers and it took a couple of hours to get over it.
The gas fire I have now is brand new and despite being condemned on the first inspection the fault has been fixed and I should feel safe with it.

A friend of mine died from what I suspected to be carbon monoxide poisoning from his fire but that is another story in the past now.
I had the choice of a gas cooker when I first moved here but chose to do without mainly because I don’t fully trust gas and didn’t want to run the risk of me leaving it on or something similarly stupid.
I look at the glass of flat lager and remember the days when I used to brew my own ale and wine, a good head was always present on the beer and lager yet nowadays everyone seems to accept the flatness of the drink.

The cloud light begins to turn orange red as the sun sets,
will soon be nighttime.

I used to love trying to capture the colours of the sunset in my paintings,
I remember my father looking at a couple of paintings and saying the sky was never that colour but I only paint what I’ve seen and sunset and sunrise were the best times for me.
I recall sitting on the end of the jetty fishing for mackerel and watching the sunrise, awed by the beauty of the colours and the power of the intensity.
Many a time I’ve been out in the boat fishing and steering for the sunrise as we steamed towards our chosen marks.
Sometimes a brave seagull would sit atop of the cabin, hitching a lift to the grounds.
Even though the aim of the day was to make a little beer money the beauty of the surroundings was never lost on me; the beauty and the tranquillity combined to make it a relaxing experience.
I miss it, but now am too aware of the dangers that boat fishing poses.
The sun has almost set and the clouds resume their night attire of dark grey.
Too dark to type.
Had a few hours sleep on afternoon till 8 got up and watched TV till 1a.m.