16 th.October.

16 October
Another grey and dark day, have had to put lamp on to see keyboard.

Feeling better in myself today.

For some reason sound was missing on p.c. but sorted it,

Father phoned will be bringing some veg down next time he’s in the area probably next week.
Decided to take test tomorrow so today will be filled with a little revision.

Baccy is low, should be finished by mid afternoon.

Meditation music on, central heating on, washing drying from yesterday.
Nice to get up to a tidy flat again.
I looked in mirror this a.m. and decided the scruffy beard growth has to go.
Will treat myself to a bath when finished.

Have had a look through some of the courses available on line and am sure I could complete some of them but haven’t got the cash to enrol.
I sit back and think of what I’d like to do with myself in the future, and failing getting a job; realistically I’m not really suited to work.

I wonder about volunteering for work within the local community, may be a start, and get me out and about, meeting people again and possibly taking on some responsibility.
May be the way forward?

Went to Boro but she wasn’t ready for me so exam postponed,
apparently some work still has to be forwarded so going to take my time and complete everything.
She reckons last work should have scored high.

Had to while away a half hour before test so went to pub,
there was a couple, same age as me on same table there wasn’t more than two minutes in which one or both weren’t chain smoking.
I cracked and had a cigar.

Returned home with a t shirt I’d bought 90pence, from charity shop,
also got a pair of tracksuit bottoms and an itchy long sloppy jumper,
should do well for winter time day wear.
Cracked and bought another half ounce after going without for 24 hrs.
Got a loaf of toasting bread for half price, going to have steak pie, beans on toast.
Am still feeling good, may have a couple more drinks and kip.
Late night / a.m. 4 am.