19 th. December.

19/12/
Clear skies and bright sunshine;
Nice to get up to a clean, tidy flat again.
Have to go to Dentist today but that’s the only commitment.
Feeling good in myself, even better for going to toilet; don’t like having to wait three days or more to evacuate.
I count out the money I’ve accrued by not cashing weekly payments and decided to save some for after the holidays.
I’d called into the local bank in the village and after asking if they charged for current accounts was told to obtain some bank statements and proof of identity then make an appointment to open an account.
I replied I’d return after Xmas and do as bid.
The sounds fill the room as slowly and surely as the cigarette smoke.
I make a mental note to open windows before leaving for my afternoon appointment.
I also decided to treat myself to a bath and wash my hair.
I purposely have avoided any course work this week instead I’ve tidied up the computer and have only a handful of files to organise and delete.

The mix up with works and Office has left quite a few stray files drifting around; they will have to be re- formatted and re- named before I get confused and lose them.
I have a hell of a lot of writing in a couple of books I used before buying the computer I wonder if any of the material is worth using?,
I try to figure out if I will have the patience needed to read through it and then type to disc?
Possibly if bored enough.
My tooth gives me a reminder of my trip to the dentist; truthfully I’m not looking forward to it.
I haven’t been for 18 months and know an extraction is on the cards.
Luckily I trust my dentist, so far he hasn’t hurt me too much and as long as he continues we will remain friends.
I just don’t relish the thought of him grappling with the furthest rear tooth, still the relief will be worth it, I hope.
I have neglected my teeth lately and am sure he will have something to say to me about care in the future.
Pity dealer let me down I would have had something to look forward to when I returned home, a few hours stoned sleep would have helped get over the extraction and help me relax while the feeling returned to my mouth.
I hate the aftermath, the frozen jaw and steady dribbling of saliva from the corner of the mouth.
Tooth begins to hurt more now, as if to have a last go at inflicting pain on me before its power to do so is removed for all time.
I think of phoning Ash;
he only lives yards from the dentist, but what good will a reunion is?
If I can only mumble incoherently from a frozen jaw!
I recline the chair and stretch my back muscles, they retaliate by cramping up and I’m forced to sit back up to relax them.
The sun is shining into the room and it’s quite pleasant; just as well I’m going out because I’d have to close the curtains to remain working and that would be a shame.
Really is a beautiful day for the time of year.
I decided to have a smoke and prepare a bath;
It’s a shame the bath is only five foot long, I would have liked to have had a relaxing soak but the majority of my long body remains out of the water, feet stretched up the wall to allow me to get my back underwater!
At least I’ll smell a little sweeter.
My parents are at hospital today, my mother has an appointment with the specialist with reference to her forthcoming operation on her knee, and I hope all goes well.
I was to be admitted for the same operation but the doctor was scared of the prevalence of the super bug, which was hitting the headlines at the time.
I have learnt to live with mine going in and out of joint and will no doubt continue to do so.

Has been a tough day trying to write, ideas are few and motivation level low.
I check my stock of spirits and find there is a little vodka left, perhaps enough to help me sleep the afternoon away till feelings return to normal.
Here I am planning for the aftermath and it may not happen, he may be busy! I still fear not.
Bath time; at least there’s no tin bath to pull out and fill!
Memories of childhood and early adult life, living in substandard accommodation.
Unsure as I am, as to my ability to complete this task I, Forgot!

Boldly set forth. Went to dentist and he deemed it fit to leave the situation alone, just gave me a good clean up and a telling off for negligence.
I returned home and by chance met my dealer.
Suffice to say I’ve scored my Xmas present.
At last a smoke that affects me!! In some way.
I feel the urge to go to sleep but resist,
I’m beginning to feel sickly; sure sign the stone is coming on after having the best part of two joints.
Will retire to bed to chill listening to meditation sounds ever so quietly.
Had a very restful and relaxing lie in bed, adopted a position in one minute and never moved a muscle for a couple of hours.
Breathing deeply and relaxing.
Got back up and watched a few films.