2 nd.November.

2 November
I woke up last night about 8.30 stopped up for half an hour and went back to bed, had one smoke.
Woken up this morning by dustbin men, just got bin out in time,
Lovely sunny day,
I should be at Boro sitting test but am wary about driving after consuming so much whisky in the last few days.
Rolled up what was left so have had one today.

Think I may have to go back to bed to pass time.
Feeling fine, chest feels o.k.
I’m going to struggle to last out the first few days.
I have no feeling of craving in as much as stomach cramps are missing,
I’ve decided not to use the inhaler because after all it will be supplying nicotine and I don’t want to be reliant on it.
Kind of like defeats the object of stopping smoking if still getting nicotine in another form.

Yet research shows Nicotine in alternative forms can be beneficial.

The sun streams through the window hitting my chair yet I’m still able to read what’s written unlike yesterday when I could hardly focus at all.
Seems a shame to waste a day like today but if I venture out I’ll probably end up with baccy.
If I can get through the first few days then I think I can crack it.
To give up completely after 34 years was never going to be easy,
The only alternative to smoking is to sleep or keep occupied;
And at times like this when I could do with some inspiration to keep me typing,
I’m dry.

I have the idea of going over to see the neighbour on the pretence of having a grilled cheese sandwich,
(if he has the bread),
but in fact the real reason would be to cadge a rollie.

There are plates on the floor beside the chair so I must have had something to eat last night,
I cannot remember much from yesterday except I vowed to polish off the remaining scotch;
A mission completed.

I’m listening to easy classical, too idle to change station to usual guitar or meditation sounds.
I went over the neighbours but he wasn’t in,
so I came home and made grilled cheese and baked beans.

Not wanting to go back to bed without achieving something I start on the washing.
While stood on landing watering plant I put my hand into my pocket and found one of the big grin tablets, which I immediately took.
I had a go on the stepper and reached 200!
Not bad for someone who started on 31
I wasn’t out of breath, so perhaps the signs of non-smoking show pretty early when packing up.
I looked at myself in the mirror and its not a pretty sight, will have to have a wash and shave.
Five minutes and I’ve recovered from exercise,
Put dressing gown in washer and do another 100 on treadmill,
I managed to squeeze yet another shave out of a four month old blade;
Not too bad a result.
Talking of squeezing, I think the washing powder must have brought me out in a rash;
I just happened to run my hand over my nose and every white head in residence blew up, appearing like a rash of blisters!
I got rid of majority.
I called over the neighbours and enquired about the broken glass in his door;
A drugs bust, was the answer.
I scored and cadged enough baccy for the purpose to hand and left.
Stopped up till 4 a.m. and had a good restful sleep with minimum of movement.