23 rd January.

23/01/2007
13.41
Just nicely got up and been to shop for another pouch of baccy, don’t intend to smoke as much as yesterday, just take it easy.
Should have gone to doctors to put sample in but will have to wait till tomorrow.
Not too bad a day the sun is shining and the snow is starting to melt away, quite nice to see a covering.
Hopefully will get some course work done today, feeling in the right mood.
Am on my third rollie but none as fat as I was rolling yesterday;
I gave body what it wanted had a fair drink and smoke but got nothing out of it so will take it easy today.
Only a week or so to go before my birthday and proposed date to have quit.
Am breathing quite easily, perhaps the length of time in bed has helped recovery.
Checked e-mail but nothing off the washer supplier, he had promised delivery of replacement some time this week, hence me doing course work to pass time.
I actually feel well today, better than of late. Perhaps my day off yesterday did some good.
A boy was rushed to hospital after a late-night stabbing on Teesside.
The 14-year-old was walking with a friend when a man lunged at him "out of the blue".
Another unprovoked attack with no apparent motive, there must be some lunatics out there!

The struggle of man against power is the struggle of memory against forgetting.

My care worker has just paid me a visit, first time for two months.
I was honest with him and told him I stopped taking the medication after his last visit,
I was expecting to be told off but he talked for a while and said I seemed to him to be more settled in myself, he agreed that some patients are susceptible to the side effect of substantial weight gain.
I told him of my research on the web and that I understood that I could have a relapse by not taking the meds but I assured him I would be able to cope with being re-admitted to hospital and wouldn’t be frightened.
He is going to continue visiting me but he agrees I appear to be fine.
He asked about my drinking habits and I assured him there was no cause for concern and that apart from a couple of deals at Xmas I have kept off the Cannabis.
He obviously arrived while I was working on my course work and I think he left with the impression that all was well.

I explained that in my opinion my past actions and reports of same had been misinterpreted and decisions and assumptions been wrongly made.
My life is so much different to when the care services first became involved for whatever reason and I feel I no longer am in need of medication.

I’ve done a couple of sections of the work this afternoon, would have been finished if he hadn’t arrived, am only two assignments off finishing the whole module.
I look outside , the house roofs still have a light covering, as has the ground, sky does look full, may get some more tonight but I’m not bothered, the fire is on , my washing is drying in front of the fire and the room is very warm and cosy.
Sent off second assignment; one more to finish course.
Not a bad day, passed quite successfully.
Gonna treat myself to a decent meal, Sunday dinner warmed up.
Sat up till late and eventually turned in about 2 a.m.