3 rd. March.

03/03/2007
9.09
Been up since 8, that’s what I call a good sleep!
16 hours smoke free will have done throat and chest some good.
The first part of the sleep yesterday from 4 till 11 was almost a trip.
Page after page was going through my head, thoughts and ideas mixed up together.
I did consider getting out of bed and using the Dictaphone to get some of the material down but decided that would spoil the experience.
I could see in my mind pages of work which should have been recorded.
I really enjoyed the stone which was made all the better for being free!
Not a bad day yesterday.

Today the weather is changeable,
I’m sat eating my fourth rollie and on second pint of coffee, I feel o.k.
I am a little worried about test results, the tablet I took on the morning to calm me down may have hampered my ability.
In the interview yesterday I was asked if I felt proud of what I’d achieved so far,
“you must feel proud” she had insisted,
I replied “no”, and explained I no longer hold pieces of paper to be important,
although I agreed I got satisfaction out of attaining higher levels.
My decision to return to study was primarily a test to see if I was indeed capable of learning and memorising, I was trying to get my head back into gear, sort out any memory problems and basically keep my mind active.
I think I’m succeeding and may be ready for serious study in the future.
I’m being careful not to allow my mind to follow too many pathways at once and thus I’m trying to remain focused on what I’m doing.
I have no fixed point to aim at so am able to study and consider the options which spring up while learning and researching.
At one time in my life the options would have been limited by geographic limitations and qualifications but nowadays the computer has allowed me to consider possible home based tasks, there seems to be more opportunities as my knowledge and interest increases.

As the new year came in I felt the journal idea had run its course and after missing a couple of days I nearly abandoned the idea but I got stuck back in and now hope to continue till at least August making it a chronicle of a years events,
mapping my progress or lack of it.
I enjoy writing, I find it very therapeutic to jot down my thoughts,
it gives me practise in typing, keeps my mind working, allows me to practise proof reading etc. and at times pleases me.
I just wish there was more interesting aspects of my daily drudge to write about, at present my existence is boring and taken up with daily study and random interest in researching subjects.
The fact that I have no definite goal at the moment is not too important to me.
I will continue to wander until I find a path to follow.
I take time out for a few minutes and learnt the functions of a couple of more keyboard buttons;
really must get to grips with the keyboard functions one day!

One thing I have noticed this week is the lack of apparent eye strain since using the bi- focals, I no longer have to stop sessions because of tiredness of the eyes.
The sun appears and I feel guilty for not wanting to venture outside for exercise,
I have no plans for the day and intend to simply pass away the hours,
I hate Saturdays since it no longer means a day spent drinking or doing tasks such as repairing property, gardening, looking after car or more menial tasks like tidying up etc.
My time is my own and I’m free to use it as I please;
in that respect I must be considered to be lucky, beholding to no one but myself.

At one time my life was full of responsibilities and I had little or no time for myself,
that was one of the reasons for me implementing life style changes over a year ago.
I adopted a lifestyle conducive to study and freedom.
I listen to the background sounds of guitar playing and am content.
Satisfaction and contentment are rewards in themselves.
The most important change I made was to eliminate the perceived idea of impressing anyone with my efforts, whatever I do is selfishly for my own enjoyment / satisfaction.

It was only when I began to write for recreation that I thought of pursuing some form of activity which would bring me into contact with the written work of others,
first ideas being proof reading, now known as copy editing.
The availability of courses on the subject has given me an option I wouldn’t previously have considered simply because I wasn’t aware of its existence.
I struggled for years to make devices “ talk to each other”, spent countless hours researching new technology before purchasing reasonably future proof equipment,
all I have to do now is to choose an option which may or may not yield a job opportunity with the same degree of future-proofness.
Second guessing the future is never easy in such a fluid area such as computer use.
I did consider end line user assistance but my knowledge is not sufficient to provide me with the tools to tackle such an occupation.
I decide to return to my plan of meandering through the next few months and see what I pick up along the way.

The time is rapidly approaching opening time and I presume the regulars will be getting ready to start another day’s drinking, I sit considering my options and cannot decide upon anything to do.
A breakfast of bananas and cornflakes, the idea appeals to me.
I look at the huge fruit bowl full of bananas, apples and oranges and wonder if I will get through them before they turn, I should be able to.
I realise I had nothing to eat yesterday so the idea of a breakfast seems fitting.
I break for same.
Had bowl of weetabix, cornflakes and banana plus three cold cocktail sausages and an apple; how healthy is that lot?
Went onto course site and found a touch typing exercise, even though my fingers are damaged I gave it a try, typing speed still only in 40 + per minute.
1:49 PM
Sun has broken through and remained out for quite a while,
Am thinking of having some fresh air.
Had an early night.