8 th.November.

8 November
Had a decent sleep; was cold when I got up, the sky was completely greyed over and I felt down.
I thought today would be another day of inactivity and depression.
But the sun tries valiantly to break through and makes every chance it can get to pierce the grey overcoat.
I will have to make an effort today.
Need a shake up, am determined not to let melancholy take over as the dominant feeling.
Spent a few hours yesterday working with dog waffle and may decided to take it up, saw an offer where the recommended price of £60 was slashed to £20; too good to be true? May see.
I see no point in buying small canvasses when I have a 42-inch framed electronic one.
Perhaps an art and music package could be my winter project,
Have saved three week’s money up so there’s no problem with cash, saving is coming along nicely.
The sky once again is completely covered with cloud probably bearing rain.
Just sufficient light to type comfortably without need for lamp on.

I’m smoking a lot and now realise it was a mistake to buy the two ounce pack, its took me back to square one, but I’ll keep the idea of quitting in my mind.
Place could do with a tidy up and so could I;
If I can galvanise myself into action I may take a walk into the village, haven’t been out for a while.

I read some more snippets from people with my condition (bi-polar manic depressive) and the more I read the more I can see my own condition for what it is.

Now I realise that my feelings and emotions are governed by the illness I can learn to cope with it and try to steer away from the bouts of depression.
Low self esteem and emotional turmoil has to be replaced with positive feelings.
I try to achieve something everyday, be it as simple as learning something new on the p.c. or simply doing the housework, whatever. each day has to have some positive aspect attached to it.

Tomorrow I’m geared up to take the test and get the course out of the way, will also double as a shopping day will pick up supplies and buy some more contacts, couple of packets of papers and a box of tips should see me through.
I flick through the news headlines and read about the local drug busts and the news that Teesside airport it to increase its destination flights.
I need to get myself mobile, perhaps a couple of pints in pub after walk.
Another cuppa first.
I have linked gaps for grumpies to my favourites will follow up later.
Looks too expensive for me.
Keeping a journal of everyday life is hard when life is simply sitting in a chair everyday,
I have respect for Norman who despite being wheelchair bound, busks most days in the town centre.
I drove down to the village and treated myself to razor blades, a steak pie and a couple of pints.
Unfortunately the pub was hosting a wake so I left and bought myself a bottle of strong cider to finish off the afternoon.
Had a few hours kip on afternoon then watched TV till1 a.m.