Jan.

January
Spent 12 hours in bed but couldn’t get to sleep.
Was relaxed o.k.
never been so relaxed in my life, just couldn’t keep eyes closed to get over to sleep.
Eventually got up at 1 p.m.
Rolled last of baccy into 7 rollies and intend to smoke them all, have taken last of tablets,(3) and will probably go to bed when they come on.
Most of this week has been a battle to stay in bed and keep off the smokes,
Have felt really poorly at times, sweating and short of breath but for the most part have been relaxed and breathing easier and quieter.
Tablets are powerful, much too powerful for me,
The sleepers helped me through the first 24 hours and then the painkillers kicked in producing all manner of side effects.
I just took the last now and they are coming on a storm.
I’m fine once I lay down on bed but trying to get through the day is almost impossible.
Very mild pins and needles, high temperature and general feeling of unease, slightly frightening.
Have had a really stupid week, putting my body through such an experience.
Weird nighttimes, seeing objects almost dream like but eyes wide open.
As pain relief they work well but the side effects are similar to being half into a trip.
I am feeling unwell, at a couple of times during the week I began to panic a little and thought about phoning the paramedics but once I returned to lying down the effects subsided and I relaxed a little.
I’m sweating like hell now and think I’ve reached my limit.