April 1 st.

01/04/2007
10:45
Had enough whisky last night to help me get to sleep straight away but apparently not enough to keep me asleep. Woke up this morning at 6 but made myself stop in bed till 10.30.
Have been feeling bunged up this week, which is hardly surprising the amount and range of food I’ve consumed. Gave birth this morning so feel much better.
Another month starts with all fool’s day; well I’ve stopped being a fool, I still would accept a rollie if offered one but wouldn’t accept a cigarette; I did think about buying baccy yesterday when I went for the Whisky but was strong enough to resist.
Hopefully the abstinence from smoking will show up when I have my blood pressure taken tomorrow at the heart clinic.
I even did a little bit of exercise yesterday, only a little mind; but intend to do a lot more this month. Hopefully I’ll be able to notice a difference when walking, no more huffing and puffing with every step and feeling tightness of chest.
All I need now is for some of the positive aspects of quitting to really make themselves known and I’ll be able to continue my abstinence.
I have asked people who have quit if they felt any different and a few had replied no, I on the other hand feel great deep inside myself but on the outside I seem to have accepted my stopping as being nothing out of the ordinary!
After 35 years of smoking I have to keep hold of that fact in my mind, I’m quitting after been a smoker for the best part of thirty five years. I should be able to feel a tremendous sense of achievement but I don’t.
Perhaps because I know the war isn’t over yet; I still need to be careful not to fall back into the habit and waste everything I’ve achieved so far.
The misty weather has dispersed for the day and been replaced by rather pleasant hazy sunshine.
I’m sat here, empty bowels, stomach ready for Sunday dinner, 5 day’s growth on face and an ever so slight body aroma.
Today the first of April will see everything put behind me and I will present a confident body to the world.
I feel good.
April; bring it on.